After the long night and morning following the second surgery, I knew I needed to get a break and some sleep. DH and I talked on the phone. He was still fighting his cold, but had gotten some sleep, and he rounded up my cousin S. to help get me some rest. I’d intended to curl up on the couch in the room once they arrived.
Soon after hanging up with DH, my sister M. and stepmom arrived, bringing with them a couple gifts that had arrived downstairs from our friends T. and S. in DC. One bag was full of goodies and snacks and the other a giant stuffed bear for Girl Child. I’m told she already informed DH he better keep his hands off “her” candy, but I’ll be showing her the message mentioning it was for all of us when I dive into some cookies at some point. Again, the outpouring of love and support from people literally across the country and world has been phenomenal.
My sister M. suggested DH and I both go home to rest and let one of the family stay with Girl Child for awhile. The hitch there is that in order for us to leave for any significant time and leave family there in our stead is that we have to sign a paper that says not just that they can stay but that they can make medical decisions. And that is NOT a piece of paper either of us is going to sign. Not that we wouldn’t be called if there was a question about something, because we would, no doubt about it. But there’s simply no way either of us would feel comfortable making a decision about her care from offsite when neither of us can see her (and her monitors) with our own eyes to know how she’s doing and what she might need.
But the family was right that I needed sleep, and that sleep would probably be found better in my own bed at home than on the hospital couch with everything thing going on around me. DH and S. arrived, and I grudgingly consented to bring driven home by S., but only after I was able to fully tell DH how things had been going, what was working/not working etc. Before I left Dr B. The Thoracic Surgeon stopped by, and I asked him if Girl Child looks like she should be expected to look at this point, and he said yes and that he has no concerns. That was a relief to us.
At that point, I exited stage left and went home to sleep, practically tucked in by S. I’m not sure she thought I’d actually go to bed if she didn’t watch me go there herself. Given my stubborn streak, that suspicion wouldn’t have been unfounded. But I did sleep. After a bit of a cry. This whole thing is just…hard, and my emotional armor feels a little dinged up at this point.
I woke up and showered about 4 hours later (man that shower felt great!) then checked in with DH, M., and S., who had returned to the hospital. Things sounded in control, so I considered spending the night at home rather than returning to the hospital. A friend of ours had offered to bring by some dinner, and I gladly accepted the offer. P. brought homemade beef stew and brownies, and it was so good. Little things like that meal have meant so much to us. After I ate, I checked in again at the hospital. I read a bit, then crawled into bed around 11, which if you know me, you know is very early for this night owl. That was probably the most restful 8 hours sleep I’ve had….
